What is this?

My world is starting to slow down! I'm been moving at such warp speed and suddenly it's as if someone has pushed the emergency brakes... What has been going on? Why is there such chaos? I've been at light speed so long I couldn't have noticed the things that maybe I could have helped prevent. Or maybe it's just things changed as they would have if I was there or not. The only problem with that is, I didn't get to change with them. So now i'm stuck, how to I catch up? I just want everything to be like it was. Everyone was so close, there was an err of togetherness. Nowadays, it's every man for themselves.

Why now though? Why not just continue at warp speed? Why do I have to witness this? Is there something I can do? Can anyone do anything? Maybe it's not all bad. Well it really isn't all that bad. Just not the same. Why am I back here anyway? I said I wasn't coming back, so why am I here? These are a lot of questions aren't they. Do I really need the answers? Maybe I already know the answers. Am I afraid to admit I know? or do I really not know? Why is the picture so blurry? Am I still moving too fast? If I slow down more will the blurriness fade. That seems to be true, Some call it soul searching. I don't think that's it. I know who I am, and what I want to do. So I am not soul searching.

Why do I feel this burden? Why is family so important to me and not my family? Or is it? Why do I care more? or do I? Why do I feel the weight on my shoulders? is it? Am I spreading myself to thin? Maybe I need to redistribute my energy. Maybe I will. I am back here for a reason though. Why is that? I know I will be gone again, so why am I back? Why did I leave? Something told me to stay, but I felt I should leave... what's drawing me here? What do you want from me? I just want to be happy. I know where my happiness is. Do I care too much for others and not enough for myself? I can't save the world, but I can make it a better place. Am I just ranting and raving? or is this something that's flowing out of me? I've been typing alot, but have I even said anything? Does this make sense? Maybe only to me. Guess if you ask me tomorrow I won't even know why I felt like this. So is this a waste? ??? that's it, I've lost the flow. It's gone now, so I guess this is the end!